I don’t know about you, but I never had to teach my kids how to say “no.”
In fact, I’ll never forget the first time our oldest uttered those words. I had put her in the crib for nap time, expecting her to lay right down, put her thumb in her mouth, and go to sleep. (I had three amazing sleepers thanks to the wisdom of Babywise, which worked like a charm for our family. I know. I know. It doesn’t work for everybody.)
But instead of this, she looked me square in the eyes, and said, “No, I’m not doing that.”
I was stunned. But I’m not sure why. All the wise mommies who’d come before told me this day would come. So we battled through nap that day, and for a week or two, “no,” became part of every response I got from her. (And then we banned it from her vocabulary. But that’s a post for another day.)
I also never had to teach her, or the other two, to be stingy. I never had to teach them how to whine. And I never had to teach them what the opposite of a thankful heart looks like.
No, these things aren’t second nature to us. They’re learned skills, exercised through self-control, and it’s our responsibility as parents to teach them. And teach them we must, day in and day out, until they become part of our children’s character.
This is one of the reasons why I love November and Thanksgiving so much. In fact, if I had to rank the holidays in order, Thanksgiving would be at the top of the list.
Why?
Because it’s simple.
It doesn’t involve the consumerism of Christmas.
The weather is typically beautiful.
Kory knows how to do a mean turkey on the Big Green Egg.
And it’s a time to focus on thankfulness. Not because we get a bunch of gifts. But just because.
From my perspective, thankfulness is where it’s at.
I believe that if we’re truly thankful, obedience, generosity, compassion, and kindness will flow out of it as its expression in our lives. So around here, we work on thankfulness a lot. And in November, we get a concentrated dose of practice.
It’s hard to believe that October has come and gone, and Halloween is over. We had a great time with our neighbors over the weekend because it’s such a wonderful time of fellowship and fun!
And today, while I put away the parts of our fall decor that are most definitely “Halloweeney,” at the same time, I’ll pull out some turkeys and owls to put in its place. One of those things is the thankful tree.
We’ve been doing a thankful tree since our oldest was 2, inspired by a couple we took a parenting class from years ago. And ours is nothing to write home about. I’m not crafty, and neither is our thankful tree.
But that’s not the point. (Thank goodness.)
It consists of a glass vase, filled with rocks. And a few branches of fall foliage. For the thankful ornaments, I use some paper leaves I bought at Mardels, some raffia and a hole punch.
Each day during November, we spend some time sharing as a family and identifying some things we’re thankful for. Each of us takes a paper leaf, writes our thanks on one side and our name on the other, puts raffia through the hole, and hangs it on the thankful tree. At the end of the month, I take the kids’ picture in front of it for posterity’s sake. Then I gather up the leaves and put them in a safe place because I think years from now, they’ll be fun to look back on.
It’s just one way of teaching thanks. But I think it’s a fun way to teach thanks around the time of Thanksgiving.
Do you have a thankful tree? If not, what special family traditions help you focus on being thankful at Thanksgiving?
The post I Never Had To Teach My Kids To Say “No” appeared first on Confessions of a Pastor's Family.